Created by his own hard work and a lot of cold baths, this no-nonsense phonker is always up for a fight. The backbone of any phonker bag, he has trained hard and is at his physical peak. So c'mon soldier, let's do battle if you think you're up for it!
From: Fort William, Scotland
Likes: Discipline, Porridge
Dislikes: Sloppiness and Cheerios
Favourite song: Colonel Bogey
Grown on a digital horse chestnut tree somewhere in deepest north London, don't be fooled by that smiling face. This phonker is cool as a cucumber when it comes to battles. Tough but nice, she's always ready to play.
Sam Phlox is the "Bond girl" of the phonker bag. Her charm and striking good looks (see what I did there) belie an intensity and cunning that are likely to be the undoing of many a foe.
From: Barnet, London
Likes: Flowers, fluffy animals and Darma Illow
Dislikes: Elves and Colonel Klipp
Favourite song: Save your Love; Renee & Renato
Created by a mad scientist in a lab, Phrankie is a mishmash of broken phonkers, merged into one brand new, scary phonker. Phrankie knows no fear (except spiders. He really doesn't like spiders).
From: The Laboratory
Likes: Smashing things, hoovers
Dislikes: Early bedtimes and books
Favourite song: Monster Mash; Bobby "Boris" Pickett and the Crypt-Kickers
Discrete, stubborn and enigmatic, Darma has the Karma to overcome many a phonker. The lothario of the Phonker family, you'll have to win a battle to reveal this romantic!
From: Venice, Italy
Likes: Fancy pants and shell suits
Dislikes: Unwanted attention and boring pants - pants are for showing off.
Favourite song: Addicted to Love; Robert Palmer
Dot Nin Jar
She trained for years in martial arts, and is now match fit for hitting and being hit by other phonkers. She's cool under pressure, and looks rather good in that Ninja outfit of hers designed to hide her identity.
Stealth and secrecy are the hallmarks of this premium Phonker!
From: Okinawa, Japan
Likes: Jackie Chan movies and masked balls
Dislikes: Rainbows and unicorns
Favourite song: Kung Fu fighting; Carl Douglas
His clownish appearance hides a tough, nutty, interior.
In battle, the "Major" is always looking for a chance to sneak up on his opponent for a cheeky sideways phonk, but put him under pressure and he quickly turns into a blubbering Eton Mess.
From: Basingstoke, England
Likes: Fondant fancies, flag-waving and zip-lines
Dislikes: Buses, bananas and combs
Favourite song: Back Stabbers; The O'Jays